names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
