Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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