I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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