Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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