Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
