Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
