Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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