So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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