If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
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I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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