Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
