i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
