We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize