It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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