i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
