i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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