my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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