Kiss
Puke
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
