so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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