Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
