I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
