I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
