it wasn't lemon gatorade
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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