took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
