Your tits are I can't wait for
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
