that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
