Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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