I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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