she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
