i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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