Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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