Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
