i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
