come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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