just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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