I wish my penis had an off switch
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
