Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
