i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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