Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
