Well apparently he's into motor boating.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize