I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
