Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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