I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize