So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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