mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
