So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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