do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
