Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
