ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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