The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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