she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
