I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
