So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
