is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
