I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
