stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
