apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
