have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
