I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize