Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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